GuFFaWs  
 

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With inputs from Reshma Hingorani and Kiran Makhija

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The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class
was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe
properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at
this stage of the plan.

"Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher. "Walking is
especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the
time to go walking with your partner!"

The room was very quiet.

Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.

"Yes?" asked the instructor.

"Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"

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Why ruin a good story with the truth?

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PERKS OF BEING OVER 50

1.  Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

4. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

5. Things you buy now won't wear out.

6. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

7. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

8. Your eyes won't get much worse.

9. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

10.      Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

11.        Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

12.      Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

13.      You can't remember who sent you this list.

14.      And this is the only font size you can read without your glasses!!

**********

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

**********

 

This is a real story of a young college girl who
passed away last month
in Chandigarh . Her name was Priya. She was hit by a truck.

She is working in a call centre. She has a boy friend named Shankar. Both of them are true lovers. They always hang on the
phone. You can never see her without her handphone. In fact she also changed her phone
from Airtel to Hutch, so both of them can be on the same network, and save on the cost.

She spends half of the day talking with Shankar .
Priya's family knows about their relationship. Shankar is very close with Priya's family. (just imagine their love) . Before she passed away she always told her friends "If I pass away please burn me with my handphone" she also said the same thing to her parents.

After her death, people couldn't carry her body, I was there. A lot of them tried to do so but still cant , everybody including me, had tried to carry the body, the result is still the same. Eventually, they called a person who is known to one of their neighbours, who can speak with the soul of dead person, who is a friend of her father.

He took a stick and started speaking to himself
slowly.

After a few minutes, he said "this girl misses
something here." Then her friends told that person about her intentions to burn her with her phone.
He then opened the grave box and place her phone and sim card inside the casket. After that they tried to carry the body. It could be moved and
they carried it into the van easily.

All of us were shocked.. Priya's parents did not inform Shankar that Priya had passed away.

After 2 weeks Shankar called Priya's mom.....

Shankar :"Aunty, I'm coming home today. Cook
something nice for me. Dont tell Priya that I'm coming home today, I wanna surprise her."


Her mother replied..... "You come home first, I wanna tell you something very important."

After he came, they told him the truth about Priya.
Shankar thinks that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and said "dont try to fool me - tell Priya to come out, I have a gift for her. Please stop this nonsense".

Then they showed the original death certificate to
him. They gave him proof to make him believe. (Shankar started to sweat) He said... "Its not true. We spoke yesterday. She still calls me.
Shankar was shaking.

Suddenly, Shankar's phone rang. "see this is from
Priya, see this...." he showed the phone to Priya's family. all of them told him to answer. He talked using the loudspeaker mode.

All of them heard his conversation.

Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming.

It was the actual voice of Priya & there is no way
others could use her sim card since it is nailed.


Inside the grave box they were so shocked and asked for the same person's (who can speak with the soul of deal persons) help again. He brought his
master to solve this matter.

He & his master worked for 5 hours.

Then they discovered one thing which really shocked them...

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"Hutch has the best coverage.

Where ever you go, our network follows!!!
"

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Don't shout at me. I am also looking for the person who has sent me this joke....

No Hutch has not paid us for publishing this joke – though we feel they should!

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Dress Code  For Raksha - Bandhan
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NO HANDS, …. NO RAKHI…


NA RAHENGE HAATH... NA BANDHEGI RAAKHI..

(Note: Rakhi is a Hindu Festival in which the sister ties a string (rakhi) wrist band to implore the brother to always act as a protector of his sister. The picture above shows Sanjeev Kumar acting as a armless man in the Bollywood Blockbuster - Sholay)

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